Brandon Figliolino
Connecting with Wallflowers
(C) January 23, 2014
Over the summer, I decided to read Stephen
Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower,
since I hadn’t read it when I was in high school. During the sweltering weather
was a time when I wanted to expand my reading to include young adult novels, so
I decided to pick up a copy at a local library. I liked it well enough, but
wasn’t impressed with it as much as I had hoped. There was a void I felt—a lack
of a visceral connection to main character Charlie’s situation. I returned the
book, and moved on to another author I knew wouldn’t leave me unsatisfied: Joe
Hill.
It was a short while after reading
Chbosky’s novel when I found out there was a film adaptation of it that was
recently released. I shrugged it off. If I couldn’t connect with Charlie in the
novel, I doubted I could connect with him on film.
It was only recently that I decided
to give the movie a chance, and it wasn’t because I reread the novel and gained
new insights into the story that helped me empathize with Charlie. It wasn’t
because I’d read reviews about the movie, or heard from friends who praised it.
No, I wanted to watch The Perks of Being
a Wallflower because I found out there was a specific cast member in it. It
was Emma Watson, right? Wrong. I had no idea she starred in the film until I
read her name on the top of the DVD case.
Nope, I wanted to watch the The Perks of Being a Wallflower because Logan
Leman is in it, and Logan Leman is ridiculously adorable.
One night, my brother was whining that he was bored, and that we should
go see what’s playing on Netflix. The last time we tried watching a movie on
Netflix, we couldn’t find my first choice (Percy
Jackson and the Sea of Monsters), my second choice (The Kings of Summer), my third choice (Premium Rush), or even my fourth choice (Jarhead).
“It doesn’t even have Jarhead?” I exclaimed when the search
results yielded “similar to”, but not quite Jarhead.
“What is wrong with these people?”
Because I was bitter towards Netflix
for having nothing interesting to watch, I laughed when my brother suggested
it.
“Well, you think of something we can
do then,” he challenged me.
I had no ideas. At all.
My saving grace came in the form of
a DVD on the dining room table. It was then that I remembered my mother had
gone to the library and must’ve picked up the items I had on hold.
“Here,” I said, holding the DVD up
for him to see. “Let’s watch this.”
“The
Perks of Being a Wallflower?” He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“Why?
Because Logan Leman stars as the main character, that’s why.”
I glanced down at the DVD case.
“Look, it even has Emma Watson in
it. Guess she’s really a Mud Blood now, huh?”
He didn’t laugh, though I thought my
joke was funny.
“What’s it even about?” he asked. He’s
always been skeptical of my movie choices. For someone who thought The Avengers was a great movie because
of its “plot”, he has no room to question my judgment.
“It’s about a kid in high school,” I
explained. “It’s based off a book I didn’t like.”
“Then why are you going to watch it?”
“We’ve been over this already,” I
sighed. “We’re going to watch this because it has Logan Leman in it.”
“And Emma Watson,” my sister, who
was sitting on the sofa texting her friends, chimed in.
“Yeah, whatever. Let’s go watch
Logan.”
So we sat down and started the
movie. My brother would periodically ask when the movie would be over. I’d tell
him to shush his mouth and enjoy Logan’s acting. I’m proud of my brother; he
lasted the entire movie, even though he clearly wasn’t enjoying it.
“This
is so sad,” he said. “It’s depressing.”
“Well,
it’s supposed to be, obviously.”
My sister lasted twelve minutes or so.
Normally, she’ll stick around just to listen to my commentary, which can make
any movie ten times better, but she was tired and I suppose my comments were
annoying her.
To be honest, I had little expectations
that I’d enjoy the movie, Logan aside. But as the movie progressed, I started
connecting to Charlie, something the Charlie in the book wasn’t able to do. It
wasn’t that Charlie and I were polar opposites, we actually have some interests
in common. He aspired to become a writer. I aspire to become a writer who gets
paid for writing. He enjoys reading, I enjoy reading.
But as far as I could see in the
novel, those two similarities were all I could find between the two of us that
were meaningful. Charlie counted down the days until he graduated, whereas I
really enjoyed high school. Of course, when I made it to university, I realized
how much better college is than high school, but in my naïve sixteen-year-old
world, high school was magical.
Charlie
also enjoyed parties. I enjoyed being left alone. Now that I’m older, I
definitely appreciate being around people more, but in high school, that wasn’t
as much of a big deal for me. Charlie’s loneliness and desire to fit in was a
large element of the novel, which made it difficult for me to follow. I was
lucky enough to have great friends in high school. No loneliness there.
Charlie
was also in love with Sam. I had friends, but no love interest in high school;
it’s difficult to find your soul mate when you’re that young. I felt bad for
Charlie when his friendship with Sam was built up, eroded, and reestablished,
but the sympathy wasn’t completely genuine.
It
was during the film that I finally saw a connection between Charlie and myself,
one more potent and true than simply career goals. It was his love for his
aunt, Helen, and the aftermath of her demise. In the novel, I picked up on his
love for his aunt. In the movie, I could feel
the love he had for his aunt. I could see it in his constant flashbacks to him
and his aunt smiling or holding hands or siting on the sofa. I could see it in
his sadness trying to come to terms with her not being around by blacking out.
It was especially strong when Charlie came to the unfounded conclusion he was
the cause of her death, and thus, should pay for his crime with his own life at
the hands of a knife. It was in his mental collapse that I finally felt like
him.
The
relationship between Charlie and Helen are similar to the relationship I had
with my aunt. Charlie and Helen’s relationship is one that is perverted, but the
connection they both feel to one another is incredibly strong. It could be
argued that Charlie feels this connection because of the molestation he
experienced, but this isn’t an academic essay debating the stability or definition
of a good relationship. Yes, their relationship wasn’t right, but seeing it
portrayed on film made me empathize with Charlie’s loss.
I
lost my aunt over the summer, shortly after reading the novel. There was no corrupt
element to our relationship, like the one between Charlie and Helen. What there
was in it was an incredible amount of love. It may sound cliché, but she was
indeed my guardian angel, educating me on how to become a better man, shielding
me from the woes of the world, and protecting me from myself when I was in a
horrible place.
I
didn’t have a mental collapse when she died, but I was overcome with sheer
amounts of grief, grief that’s been slow to repair. She had a huge presence in
my life, and having her taken away from me left me lost. Watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower reignited
that sadness, sadness I saw emulated through Charlie. Losing someone you love
is difficult, and coping with them not being around is daunting at times.
For
the last few minutes of the movie, both my brother and I were quiet. It was
when the credits started rolling did he say what I’d been thinking for the
majority of the movie.
“His
aunt reminded me of Rita,” he said. “Only Rita wasn’t a child molester. She was
awesome.”
When
my aunt would want to emphasize something she had said, she’d raise her finger,
smile, and say, “And that’s the truth!”
“And
that’s the truth,” I said, using Rita’s phrase to agree with him.
He
smiled, whispering, “And that’s the truth,” back to me.
I don’t know what my aim was setting out to
write this. Was it a review of Chbosky’s novel? Was it a review of Chbosky’s
movie? Was it a review of how stunning Logan Leman is? What about a nonfiction
story about my life? I think I meant to make it all of those things, the latter
most of all. It’s really more of an internal reflection than anything else.
I’m
fine with that.
I’m going to reread The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Seeing the connection between love
and loss in the movie gave me a better appreciation for the story, and while I
thought it might’ve just translated better on screen, I believe now that I’ve experienced
a loss like Charlie’s and seen it played out in front of me, the novel will be much
better the second time around.
An
author’s main intent with writing a novel is to connect with the reader.
Sometimes it just takes another look on the reader’s part to find that connection.
When they do, it’s an awesome feeling, both to the author and to the reader,
and that’s the truth.
